31 Oct 2026
A St Albans mother’s seven year fight for her daughter’s education continues despite promised changes in Hertfordshire’s SEND provision.
Lisa Stanley first appeared in the pages of the St Albans Times back in June 2025, when she provided a deeply personal account of her battle to help her daughter Bethany, and why she felt let down by the organisations which should have supported her through this traumatic time.
Having obtained diplomas in autism and Pathological Demand Avoidance, Lisa tried desperately to convince Bethany’s primary school about the patterns she was displaying at home, including meltdowns, avoidance and self-harm, only to be dismissed out of hand.
“I was doing everything I could — paying for private therapy, art therapy, drama therapy, emotions coaching. None of the usual services that are meant to help were listening.”
Even after Bethany received a diagnosis of autism with a PDA profile, both a succession of schools and the county council failed to help.
“I was then accused of FII (Fabricated or Induced Illness). They said I was inventing her needs, manipulating diagnoses and seeking medication unnecessarily.
“Every professional failed to understand PDA. Failed to understand trauma. Failed to understand why she couldn’t go to school — or even talk about it.”
When we last spoke to Lisa, she said: “The impact on our lives is catastrophic. We feel so alone and uncertain of what the future brings. My daughter is entitled to an education which can meet her needs. The system is not fit for purpose.”
At the time Herts county council apologised for the failings in their service, adding: “We are actively supporting young people with tailored education packages while working to secure long-term placements that meet their needs.”
Flash forwards to now, and any right thinking person would be hoping that things have changed for Lisa and Bethany. Tragically they would be mistaken.
“Bethany is now 12 years old. She is bright, funny, artistic and incredibly creative. She loves art, singing, acting, dancing, gymnastics, makeup, cooking and performing. When she feels safe and is learning something that interests her, she can achieve so much.
“In 2025, Bethany was awarded EOTAS (Education Other Than at School). For our family, that decision was enormous.
“It finally recognised that Bethany could not simply be placed back into an ordinary school environment and expected to cope. I thought winning EOTAS would finally allow us to stop fighting and start rebuilding.
“Unfortunately, that has not happened.”
While Lisa is continuing to argue over what provision she should receive, Bethany was introduced to the Glow Project, an organisation which provides personalised alternative education and therapeutic support for children and young people who may struggle to access mainstream education due to neurodiversity, anxiety, trauma, Emotionally Based School Avoidance (EBSA), or other additional needs.
“After everything she had been through with education, finding somewhere she could walk into willingly, engage with staff, learn alongside other young people and achieve things was incredibly significant.
“When the environment is right, Bethany can learn. She can achieve. She can engage. She can succeed.
“The problem has never been that my daughter is incapable of learning. The problem has been finding an environment in which she feels safe enough to do it.”
While waiting for HCC to make decisions about Bethany’s EOTAS package, Lisa has been funding Glow herself because she could not bear to take away the one provision where her daughter had finally started to feel safe, settled and successful.
But she is now running out of money, and has desperately launched a GoFundMe account to help.
“I see what Bethany is capable of when she feels safe enough to show us who she really is, and that is exactly why the right educational environment matters so much.
“Loss of routine can have a serious impact on her emotional wellbeing and mental health, and that is why I am so frightened about her suddenly losing Glow now that she has finally started to settle.
“I am hoping to raise enough money to keep Bethany attending Glow from November 3 until December 24, the last Thursday before Christmas.”
Lisa needs to raise £1,920 for 24 days of Glow, plus a further £1,190 to drive her to and from the facility each day, so is hoping to hit a target of £3,200.
“I am not asking strangers to privately fund Bethany’s education indefinitely, I am asking for help to bridge the gap until Christmas. A child with an Education, Health and Care Plan and an agreed EOTAS package should not need a GoFundMe simply to maintain an education placement where she is finally making progress.
“I desperately want to protect the stability she has finally found while I continue trying to resolve her long-term EOTAS provision with the local authority.
“Those eight weeks may not sound like a long time. But to Bethany, they could mean everything.”
You can support Lisa’s GoFundMe campaign here and Bethany is also selling her own artwork to raise funds on Facebook.
