21 Jun 2024
A wry look at the first major hustings of the General Election campaign – taking place at Katherine Warington school in Harpenden last Monday and organised by the Harpenden Society…
Off we went to the Harpenden hustings to hear what the six candidates vying to be the next MP for Harpenden and Berkhamsted have to say for themselves.
The first surprise of the night was that the Labour candidate, Zara Layne, didn’t bother to turn up and sent the local Chair of the party instead. Apparently a ‘logistical clash’. It seems she won’t be going to other hustings as there are other ‘logistical clashes’. I guess if I was so far ahead in the polls, and Survation tells me I’m going to win in H&B, maybe I wouldn’t bust a gut either.
The local Chair stood in valiantly, reminding us of the death of a Labour MP and how we have to be nice to each other. He said so many platitudes people thought he was going to start reciting John Lennon’s Imagine . He then rather spoilt it by tearing into the Tories every chance he had for the next hour and a half. He didn’t trouble us with the Labour manifesto, probably to ward off inconvenient questions about tax from the mostly elderly audience.
Conservative candidate Nigel (no not that one) Gardner reminded us his mother was born in a pub in Harpenden, as was her five sisters…again. We know, we know… you’re local!!!! Thankfully, he didn’t mention his family’s Sky status.
Carefully skirting any mention of the Conservative record over the last five years, he firmly demonstrated his small ‘c’ credentials by focussing on the High Street, preservation of the local Green Belt and opposition to VAT on private school fees. I want some of what he’s on. He kept his cool even when faced with noisy heckling from the peanut gallery at the back of the hall, seemingly stuffed with Lib Dem councillors and their friends. Apparently, there had been a certain amount of block booking of tickets.
His trickiest moment was when Lib Dem town councillor Richard Scott, the local party’s nominated rottweiler, accused him of working for Russia. Wearily, he said he had answered Richard’s frequent social media posts on this topic, and yes he had worked for Russia in 2007, but it was agreed with the US/UK governments and was part of an initiative to integrate Russia more closely into Europe, particularly the G8.
The peanut gallery wasn’t having it. The local Lib Dems had been outed for buying Russian electricity after the Ukraine invasion at SADC and wanted revenge.
Apart from general attacks from all the other candidates on the Tory record, he got off lightly. No mention of cake or parties.
The Liberal Democrat Victoria Collins was lovely. She talked movingly of all the things the Lib Dems would like to do, but never will as they have no chance of forming a government.
It’s great writing cheques you will never have to cash.
Her biggest upset was when asked about people with penises being allowed into women’s spaces. Her rabbit in the headlight reaction elicited reaction from the peanut gallery, who had been cooing and tweeting happily as she spoke.
The room erupted as they attempted to shout the questioner down.
Victoria responded gallantly, making sure she gave no response whilst speaking at length to demonstrate how caring she was. The other panellists all simply said ‘No’.
Thankfully, Victoria didn’t bang on about how local she is, having already played that card when she stood in Poole and then in Islington. Instead, she appealed to our heart by saying she would give up her job to be an MP. Being heartless, the politicos in the room thought ‘so does everyone else love’, which is why there are a lot of very unhappy people around the country who will be out of a job in a few weeks time.
We were left with the impression of a nice, kind woman, which was rather spoiled the next day when she sent out a leaflet personally attacking an opponent. You can’t play dirty and be nice Victoria.
The smaller parties gave us the most honest responses and the best jokes of the night, not having so much to lose.
The Green candidate, Paul de Hoest, seemed decent and spoke movingly of the environment. He didn’t touch on some of the more barking mad policies of his party. Strangely, he did not seem to get on with the Labour representative. Is Labour jealous that the Greens can expound the far left principles that Starmer is forcing them to move away from in pursuit of power?
Mark Patten, the Social Democratic Party candidate, was warm, engaging and gave us the best jokes of the night. He started by telling us, in his strong Scottish accent, that he didn’t grow up locally. He went on to say that as a consultant anaesthetist, he was accustomed to people falling asleep when he met them. It’s a pity we didn’t find out more about what the party is trying to achieve. With people like him, it would do very well.
Finally, the Reform candidate, Saba Poursaeed, who is also Harpenden born and bred. He was sincere and everything a well brought-up Harpenden boy should be. The poor lad could barely get a word in, the peanut gallery definitely didn’t like him.
The most thought-provoking thing he said was that junior doctors’ pay was being depressed by continual recruitment of cheap overseas doctors and that many were leaving the country as a result.
He then gave us the best unintentional joke of the night. Of Iranian ancestry, he warned of the threat of terrorism from Iranian boat people.
This gained him quizzical looks from the Labour non- candidate and the Tory candidate, probably worrying about the threat of tactical voting.
Finally though, congratulations to all candidates, hustings are not easy, and a big thank you to the Harpenden Society. You did a great job.
