24 Jun 2026
Following on from the recent Men’s Mental Health Week It’s OK To Say founder and CEO Stacey Turner looks at how sometimes we just need to be the place where someone can finally put things down.
This Men’s Mental Health Week, the theme is clear: taking small and manageable actions that lead to lasting change.
It is a reminder that meaningful shifts in mental health and wellbeing do not usually come from big, dramatic interventions. More often, they come from small moments, small choices, small conversations, and small acts of connection that build over time.
In a world that often rushes towards solutions, this is an invitation to slow down and notice what is already possible in everyday life.
June brings with it several important conversations around wellbeing. It is also Pride Month, and a reminder that our mental health is not something that deserves attention only during awareness campaigns. It deserves our attention every day.
We are invited to think more openly about how we look after ourselves and each other. But in reality, most of the moments that shape our wellbeing do not happen in campaigns or headlines.
They happen in everyday life, in conversations we almost have, and in the ones we do.
Last week, I wrote about attunement, our ability to notice, understand and connect with the emotional experiences of others. Attunement asks us to be curious, to pay attention and to truly see the person in front of us.
And once we notice and understand, the question becomes: what do we actually do with that understanding?
Often, the answer is not as complicated as we think.
It begins with something small.
Our presence.
We live in a world that often encourages us to solve, advise and fix. When someone tells us they are struggling, our natural instinct is to make things better. We search for the right words, offer solutions or reassure them that everything will be okay.
But many of the most important changes in mental health do not begin with solutions.
They begin with moments of connection that are small, human and repeatable.
Grief.
Anxiety.
Loss.
Uncertainty.
Loneliness.
And for many people, particularly men, these feelings can become even harder to name.
From a young age, young ones may be subtly taught to “be strong”, “get on with it”, or “don’t make a fuss”.
As adults, that can turn into silence. Not because there is nothing going on internally, but because there has never really been space to put words to it safely.
So it often comes out differently.
Through irritability, even aggression.
Withdrawal.
Overworking.
Humour that masks something heavier.
Or simply the phrase: “I’m fine.”
This is why Men’s Mental Health Week matters so deeply.
Because lasting change in men’s mental health rarely comes from one big conversation. It comes from many small, safe moments where speaking feels possible.
In those moments, people rarely need perfect language. More often, they need to know they are not carrying their experiences alone.
There is something profoundly regulating about sitting with another human being and communicating:
“I see you.”
“I hear you.”
“You do not have to do this on your own.”
Presence does not mean having all the answers. It does not mean saying the perfect thing or removing someone’s pain (if only we could take pain away!). Presence means being willing to stay,
to listen and to tolerate discomfort alongside another person.
At It’s OK To Say, we often see that people remember how they felt with someone long after they have forgotten what was said. They remember feeling safe. They remember feeling understood.
They remember not feeling judged.
That is especially important in men’s mental health.
Because when men do open up, it is often after a long period of holding things internally. The moment someone responds with calm presence rather than urgency or problem-solving, something shifts. Not because the problem disappears, but because it is no longer carried alone.
And it is often these small responses repeated over time that create lasting change.
We do not need to rush to fix what is finally being spoken.
We just need to stay with it.
Perhaps this week we could all practise taking small and manageable actions:
- Put the phone down.
- Make eye contact.
- Send the message you’ve been meaning to send.
- Sit for a few moments longer in conversation.
- Ask someone how they are and stay for the answer. And please whatever you do, don’t revert it to yourself or someone you know. Be curious and ask questions.
Whether it’s a conversation on a walk through Verulamium Park, a moment in a café on the High Street, or a quiet check-in between busy days, connection is still happening all around us if we take the time to notice it.
And if you are the one being asked, perhaps allow yourself a little more honesty than usual. Even something small like: “Actually, it’s been a bit much lately.”
Because sometimes, lasting change does not come from one breakthrough moment, it comes from small ones, repeated.
And in a world where so many people, especially men have learned to carry things quietly, those small moments of presence can be the first place where something finally softens.
Not fixed.
Just held.
Stacey invited St Albans Times editor Matt Adams, a longstanding champion of mental health, wellbeing and It’s OK To Say, to offer his reflections on Men’s Mental Health Week: “I grew up in a generation when we didn’t talk about our feelings, our pain or our personal challenges, and reaching a place when I was happy to do so was the result of a long and arduous process of reflection and rexamination.
“It’s hard to put yourself in a position of vulnerability, to explain that you’re struggling and you need help, and I still find it difficult to be totally honest about where my head is at and share my deepest emotions.
“But if you don’t talk, then feelings like anger, resentment, jealousy, self-doubt and rejection will fester away inside of you, growing like a tumour until it’s too late to do anything about it other than scream.
“Reach out to your loved ones, your family and your friends, and let them support you through any dark times you may be going through. If they really care for you then they won’t judge you or question your feelings, and you’ll come to realise that you aren’t alone, and there’s someone there to support you through whatever is happening.”
