01 Dec 2025
A chance encounter with the mother of an old friend led one St Albans man to a change of career, a category bestselling book on Amazon and many men being empowered to transform their own mental health.
It was after Ryan Parke, 35, of How Wood, casually asked how his friend was doing that he learned from a devastated mum how her son had sadly taken his own life.
Ryan was so impacted by the news that he decided to turn every Sunday into a day of researching men’s mental health.
He put what he had learned into a practical and proactive framework for himself and started to apply it to his life.
Before long, male friends and colleagues began to see how effective these lifestyle changes were and wanted to understand how to make similar changes themselves.
As a result, Ryan became a coach and TEDx speaker in 2022 who now shares the science of mental health here in the UK and all over the world including UAE, Cairo, Sao Paulo, Hong Kong and Athens.
His new book, ‘How To Help Him’, is the accumulation of years of research and coaching by Ryan which has dramatically affected individuals and organisations.
Describing it as “a blend of science, relatable stories and practical strategies to support the men we care about with their mental health” he said that the book outlines
tools and techniques he uses in his coaching practice which he hopes will be useful for anyone worried about a man in their life.
Ryan now works with NHS trusts, emergency service providers and organisations around the world, and his book has many endorsements from experts in the field of mental health, wellbeing and suicide prevention.
Ryan said: “The idea came about from people asking for it. I never set out to have a book published.”
He explained that while coaching men and delivering in workplaces people would ask for a document where they could
learn more or something they could give to other people to help them: “For years, I shared a spreadsheet of my references, but it eventually grew to more than 1,500 rows. And while sources are reassuring, what people really wanted were practical solutions — and that’s the job of a book.
“Hundreds of men I have worked with have shared their experiences as they navigated — and often overcame — depression, suicidal thoughts, or simply feeling stuck. In the book, we explore the conversations we had, the changes they made, and the science that helps explain why those changes were effective.”
The immediate reception to the book has taken him by surprise: “I’m genuinely humbled. I receive messages and photos every day from people who’ve found the book practical or insightful, which means the world to me.
“A few organisations have even bought boxes of copies for their libraries, leadership teams, or mental health first aiders — something I never expected.
“The book has also held the position of Amazon’s number 1 category best seller since its release, in both paperback and Kindle editions. To me, this shows how relevant the topic of male mental health is for so many people right now.”
He said his own self-doubt was the biggest challenge in writing it: “I’ve always seen myself as a school leaver who wasn’t particularly academic.
“However, I do feel confident speaking on stages about this topic, because it’s work I know very well.
“The way I overcame my self-doubt was to focus on what people might gain from reading it — and to remind myself that letting fear get in the way wasn’t fair on the people who were asking for the book.”
He thinks there is a lot of pressure on everyone right now, not just men: “Many people are juggling the cost of living with a modern lifestyle that affects our hormones, and cutting-edge technology that impacts our focus and motivation. These all take a toll on our mental, physical, and hormonal health.”
Ryan has received particularly positive feedback on his chapter on oxytocin and the dialogue of effective coaching conversations that have taken place.
Interestingly, Ryan challenges the misconception that men are suffering purely because they don’t reach out for help. He says that talking is essential for everyone, but there are also many practical steps men can take for better mental health, and these are very often overlooked.
So, why should women buy the book?
The former Verulam student said: “In the next five hours, four people in the UK and Ireland will die by suicide — and three of them will be men. If you’re worried about a man in your life, this book brings together science, stories, and strategies that can make a difficult conversation easier.
“My hope is that it gives people useful information on an important subject, before the moment they need it most.”
To buy the book click here: How To Help Him: The Book for Women Worried About A Man.
To book a talk visit Talks on Male Mental Health.
If you are worried about yourself or somebody you know, the Samaritans are available to listen 24/7 for free and in confidence on telephone number 116 123.
