18 Feb 2026
Local mum and Rites for Girls Facilitator, Sophia Hermens, who runs Girls Journeying Together groups for Year 6 and Year 7 girls, explains how they help with the daunting leap into secondary school education…
Last week was Children’s Mental Health Week. My social media feed was flooded by articles saying how hard the world is right now for our tweens and teens. And yes: it is hard.
As our young people step into puberty, their world can be a pressure cooker of social stress, peer group influence, surging hormones, worries about crushes, belonging, body image, spots, braces – to say nothing of the simple logistical stress of transitioning to secondary school, the added complication of smartphones and social media and the sudden increase in homework and academic expectations.
In my Girls Journeying Together groups for Year 6 and Year 7 girls, I see our tweens stretching as they come to the end of primary school, desperate to be recognised as more mature asthey outgrow the container of Year 6.
The possibility of individuality glimmers before them. And then, as they begin secondary, the struggle begins again: the same, but different.
Now, they are so often simply desperate to fit in, to be liked, to conform. Individuality is shunned.
How can we support our girls as they navigate this unfamiliar territory? It is particularly challenging for this generation of parents; we are supporting our girls through a digital childhood, a world laden with pressures and expectations of which we have no lived experience.
Here are some ideas:
1. Dedicated one-on-one time with your girl
A mother-daughter date every month, discussed, planned, scheduled and inked into the diary, is worth its weight in gold. At a time when it’s outwardly not cool to be with your
mum, most tweens still crave that connection.
Don’t be fooled by their eye rolls and feigned reluctance: they will delight in feeling important enough to be clearly marked in your busy calendar. Prioritising regular time with your daughter lets her know that you see her growing up and maturing but that she can still be your little girl if she needs you – as is so regularly the case during the tween and teen years.
2. Build in extra time at bedtime
I hear over and over again that girls open up just as it’s time to go to sleep – and it’s often something big. If it’s already late, our stress levels can rise as we’re likely to feel torn between listening and ensuring our tween has enough sleep – we’re only too aware how much they are already juggling and how tired they can be. A stressed parent isn’t ready to listen. If we can move bedtime earlier and build in an extra 10 minutes simply to be present with our girls, to listen, we will be ready to hold anything that comes up and our girls will feel it.
3. Roses and thorns?
What brought you joy and what brought you pain today? This is a lovely question that I ask my children on the way home from school and my Girls Journeying Together girls at the beginning of our monthly sessions. It normalises the fact that there are lots of little positives and negatives for each of us, every day. And that life goes on.
4. Join a Girls Journeying Together group
My GJT groups meet in St Albans once a month for a year and give Year 6 and Year 7 girls the opportunity to practise being true to themselves as they learn about puberty, share their hopes and fears and support each other into their teens. They experience a sense of belonging without needing to change themselves to fit in – and in a space that
is separate and different from school. And the group bridges the gap between primary and secondary school or keeps girls grounded as they settle into Year 7.
5. Find support for yourself
At Girls Journeying Together, mothers meet every month while the girls meet, building a circle of support around the girls. The Mothers’ Circle can provide a deeply nourishing and sustaining space for mums going through a shared experience, mums who really want to support their daughters through the rollercoaster of puberty, mums who are committed to doing their best for their girl. In addition, it is increasingly common for mothers to gift themselves time with a therapist as their daughter steps into adolescence; the early years of puberty were hard for so many of us and it is normal and understandable that the experiences of our daughters will evoke memories and big feelings for us as mothers.
Lastly, trust yourself and the incredible job you are already doing as a parent. Trust that your daughter has listened to you, even though it may seem that she never does. Trust that she has absorbed and metabolised your family values and that she will show up in the world as the wonderful person that you already know her to be: your most precious treasure.
