25 Mar 2024
It’s been just over a year since St Albans born Rosie Gill-Moss set up a podcast for widows to share their stories.
She was inspired by the support and life-changing experiences she had after her husband Ben died tragically in an accident at sea in 2018. At the time their children were just six months, five and seven years old.
The initial aim of Widowed AF was to offer hope, comfort and a non-judgmental place not just to grieve but also to laugh. It now has 60,000 listeners and is in the top 15 per cent of UK podcasts.
The 43-year-old former Beaumont pupil explained how the podcast has grown since its inception: “We have recorded over 100 episodes, spoken to over 50 widows and widowers and are about to launch season two.
“We never in a million years envisioned this level of production, or that people would be so supportive of what we are doing.”
Rosie and her new husband Jon set up the studio last year without any previous production or broadcast experience and it has been a huge success: “We created a studio in the garden. It has been trial and error as neither of us has any background in audio production or broadcast.
“We began recording on iPads in the bedroom, not knowing if a soul would listen, to having a full recording and editing suite.”
She said Jon is her biggest supporter and champion, and although he initially wanted to stay behind the scenes working on the editing and production, that has relationship has changed over time.
“I have tempted him to get behind the microphone and he now makes a valuable contribution to the chatty episodes.
“It’s vital that more men talk about the big stuff and he provides a sanity check to my wilder ideas.”
Each week there are two podcasts going out.
One is Rosie interviewing a widow or widower about their story and the other episode more of a chat about living as a blended family and the challenges and joys of life after losing a loved one.
One of the things that has made the podcast so popular is the comfort and solidarity listeners gain from others being so raw and open. A mixture of dark humour, sadness, happy memories and surprising stories or revelations are shared as well as similar aspects such as the initial shock of often having a police officer turning up unannounced at the front door.
She said the most emotional interview she had carried out was with Lori Meeboer, whose husband drowned in Mazinaw Lake, Ontario in 2017.
“It was pretty much the closest to my own loss. To hear her talk about the agony of her husband’s body being lost in water was heartbreaking but also weirdly cathartic.
“There is such comfort in knowing you are not alone in this.”
She said the most challenging part has been fighting her own insecurities and fear. as she “still shakes with nerves before every interview and I struggle hugely with imposter syndrome”.
It can of course bring up her own feelings of grief and as a consequence she treats herself with compassion and weekly therapy. She added: “Sometimes I have to reschedule interviews to protect and respect my own mental health.
“I also speak openly about my struggles because there is power in sharing the darkness.”
Rosie, who also is a qualified journalist and public speaker, said the best thing has been the response the podcast has received: “When you switch on that microphone you have no idea who is listening or what they will make of it. I receive daily messages from people, widows or not, who tell me that the podcast is helping them to see a future. To feel less alone, and to feel part of a (slightly dysfunctional) tribe.
“All of us will experience bereavement in our lifetime, and the podcast is helpful to anyone supporting or grieving a loved one.”
One of the comments she has received from listeners included: “It’s such a relief to listen to someone else say the words I feel out loud. It brings light in the darkness and the wit and comical elements make me smile, laugh and cry. So thank you Rosie for starting WidowedAF from the bottom of my heart.”
Another said: “I listen to their stories every Monday and the weekly reactions every Friday. They have built a safe and beautiful little space for us to share the quirkier sides of loss. The feelings that make us feel odd, othered and like we are out of place in our lives.
“Eventually we see we are not out of place, we are just having our own ‘norma’ reactions to some of the scientifically worst things a person can go through – the death of a partner. Hearing how other people have experienced their loss and made new lives for themselves has been extremely heartening and empowering for me as well as pf course the bitter sweet that there are so many of us out there.”
Rosie has stayed in touch with pretty much everyone who’s been on. Last summer she held a small party at home for everyone who had appeared to date, and said that while the weather wasn’t kind to them, the event was “so wonderful”: “I also like to meet up with people when I can, even as far as New York and Orlando!
“This year we are hosting a family festival, Widstock 2024 on West Malling where we now live. and hope to create even more of a community and feeling of belonging.”
It’s safe to say that the first year of the podcast has impacted on a lot of people’s lives.
Rosie added: “It came as an enormous surprise that people would want to listen to me, and that they continue to do so.
“I can be having a really tricky day myself, then I will see a message from someone thanking us for giving them hope and it is absolutely all worth it.”
For more information visit Widowed AF
